lean cuisine chicken fetuccini alfredo

sauce has typical, processed-cheese-food-product flavor, but has a delightful and slightly unexpected black pepper burn in it, with noticable black pepper flakes and flavor. kind of grainy, and has an odd aftertaste, but not awful.

fairly standart pasta: not overcooked or chewy, but done just right.

chicken: better than healthy choice: These pieces of chicken are big chunks of whitemeat. no spongy pressed-together meats or oddly textured bubblemeat. Tender, flavorful, roasted chicken pieces. Awesome.

Pot Pie Notes

Valu Time - Crust was very flaky and good, but kind of salty. Gravy decent. Not very much meat, lots of potatoes, bits of carrots (sort of underdone.) Bottom crust didn't cook evenly; needed more than the 4 minutes indicated on the package (closer to 6, and the bottom crust in the center was still gooey and had to be stirred into the gravy to keep it from being disgusting.) By Topco. 7 ounces. 50 cents on sale, 68 cents normally.

kroki kroket - jax with peanut butter. kind of sticky. very peanutty. pretty good.

Banquet Select Recipes

Herb Grilled Chicken Breast - Veggies - carrots were a little leathery, green beans were OK, fairly typical microwaved-from-frozen beans. Gravy - chicken and bitterness. Chicken patty - chicken, TVP, spices, surprisingly not bad, a bit spongy but not offensive. Rice was also surprisingly good, not overdone, banquet knows rice.

Boneless Pork Rib Shaped Patty Meal - corn: tough. Bland. Cow corn. Mashed potatoes: decent. can't fuck that up. Pork - fairly flavorless but for the bbq sauce, which is vinegary, sweet, tomatoey, not too bad. meat loaded with filler. This meal is inoffensively mediocre. Tons of sauce, the meat patty swims in it.

Banquet BARF

meat patty - WTF, sticky, wet, lots of TVP, tiny bits of gristle and cartilege.
cheese sauce - disgusting, clotty, sour tasting, little puddles of oil here and there. Really amazing in it's "not-goodness."
spuds are standard issue.

Cape Cod Potato Chip Product notes

Cape Cod Popcorn - Sweet Cream Butter - Big fluffy kernels, salty, buttery, tangy. (buttermilk powder used as a flavor) Also a touch of sweet (there's sugar there too.) Really good. "Take these away from me, I could eat the whole bag," says Maryanne.

Frozen Lasagna Notes

From worst to best:

SHITTY:

Michelina's Lean Gourmet Five Cheese Lasagna - Sauce - ok, tangy, not very spicy, strong tomato flavor. Layers: very sparse mozz & a thin film of sauce, then 4 layers of pasta each one separated by the barest thin film of cheese. This is another one of those "all noodles, no cheese" so-called lasagnas. Fail. Amazing that they can call this "five cheese lasagna" when there's barely any cheese at all. Bellisio Foods. The label shows "less than 1% of" parmesan, asiago, and romano (3 of the 5 cheeses) with mozz just before that. Sucks. 8 oz, 280 cal.

Weight Watchers Smart Ones - Traditional Lasagna with Meat Sauce - Sauce was cheap tasting, sweetish like tomato soup, but very "carroty." Sure enough, there was carrot juice concentrate in it. Made it very "Franco-American" like. Meat bits are soft. Layers top to bottom: mozz, sauce, bits of meat, pasta, thin smear of ricotta, pasta, thin smear of ricotta, pasta. Not too wet. Not too spicy. Not too cheesy, either. Heinz 10.5 oz, 300 cal (29 cal/oz)

NOT SHITTY BUT STILL FAIL:

Lean Cuisine Lasagna with Meat Sauce - Good sauce, very authentic, no surprise that it's good because its Stouffers. Flavorful meat with good texture. Layers top to bottom: thin sprinkle of mozz & meat, sauce, pasta, sauce with a sparse sprinkle of cottage cheese curds, pasta. Thinnest and chintziest on the cheese, this is basically just noodles with good sauce which means it fails at being lasagna. Really not worth the price, especially considering that 320 calories makes it more calories than some of the others. Nestle 10.5 oz, 320 cal (30 cal/oz)

MEH:

Amy's Cheese Lasagna - Tomatoey marinara, nothing special, not spicy, just meh. Layers: Sauce and mozz, pasta, ricotta, pasta, ricotta, pasta. Very good pasta, not tough or chewy. Generous ricotta but kind of flat, no herbs. A little wet on the bottom. Very plain and almost bland. Expensive ($6) 10.32 oz, 380 cal. Amy's Kitchen.

Boston Market Lasagna with Meat Sauce - Plainish sauce (not too many outstanding herbal notes, some basil, salty). Layers top to bottom: mozz, sauce, meat, pasta, ricotta, pasta, ricotta, pasta. Meat is tough, sausagey, but not as good as Stouffer (turns out it's "seasoned beef.") Pasta is tougher, ricotta layer "wetter." More meat than Stouffer. OK but not great. Heinz. 12.5 oz

GOOD:

Stouffer's Homestyle Classics - Lasagna Italiano - tangy sauce, oregano, marjoram, basil. Layers top to bottom: mozz, sauce, pasta, ricotta, pasta, pasta. Meat in the meat sauce tastes like spicy italian sausage. Fennel in the sausage, unexpected and nice. Very good overall, would buy again. Nestle. 19 oz, 791 cal. (38 cal/oz)

Marie Callender's Meat Lasagna - Cooks up really ugly-looking. there was mozz on top when I put in the nuker, nothing but sauce with a "cheese film" up there now. Sauce is very good, very authentic Italian. Heavily sauced on top. Goopy. Layers top to bottom: sauce with a sprinkle of meat and mozz (heating turned this into a cheesy sort of sauce slurry), pasta, ricotta, pasta, meat with some kind of not-readily-identifyable cheese, pasta. Meat is good (seasoned beef/pork). Overall rather "wet." Could use a little less salt. Would buy again, if on sale. ConAgra 8 oz, 240 cal. (30 cal./oz)

VERY GOOD:

Eating Right Lasagna with Meat Sauce - Really good sauce, authentic, oregano stands out, garlic, there's even a bit of heat to the spice. Layers: very sparse mozz on top with sauce and meat, thin ricotta but better than most "lean" versions, pasta, thin sauce and bits of meat, pasta. Meat has good flavor but is beef + TVP. Pasta a bit tough. Overall pretty decent, the spiciness makes it v. enjoyable. 10.7 oz, 370 cal. (35 cal/oz) Lucerne Foods Inc.

BITCHIN:

Michael Angelo's Lasagna with Meat Sauce - Good sauce, well-seasoned, oregano. Generous with cheese. Layers top to bottom: mozz & meat, sauce, pasta, ricotta, pasta. Surprisingly watery, as in actual water at bottom of pan. Overall good flavor & texture. Meat is ground beef, plain & simple, no bullshit fillers. Win. Michael Angelo's Gourmet Foods Inc. 12 oz, 429 cal (36 cal/oz)

Mama Rosie's Cheese Lasagna - Excellent sauce. Layers top to bottom: mozz, sauce, pasta, ricotta, pasta, ricotta, pasta. Delicious, fluffy ricotta with a little bit of sauce, not a wet lasagna at all. Mighty fine, this one is a keeper. Mama Rosie's Co., Boston MA - might be regional. Mention the soy connection in review. 10 oz, 290 cal (29 cal/oz)

Celentano Lasagna with Sauce - Excellent sauce, tomatoey and spicy. Layers: sauce, pasta, ricotta, pasta, ricotta, pasta. No mozz. Delicious fluffy ricotta. Plenty of sauce but not too much. Excellent. Rosina Food Products, Buffalo NY 14 oz, 620 cal (44 cal/oz)